Hate to love and love to hate

Lady of the night





Just a Smile

How many times do we come across something very ordinary that we can remember for the rest of our lives? Not many but the ones we do are really worth remembering. I remember the first time I held hand of a girl, the first time I got hugged, and the first time I got kissed. All those things felt special at those times, but as I moved on with life all those things turned out to be ordinary. Everyone gets hugged, everyone gets kissed, and there is nothing unique about it when we know.

But somewhere deep down ourselves we preserve those feelings which make us feel special about all those things.

One of such wonderful things happened to me once which was very ordinary on other scale, but it made a huge impact on my life.

10 years back I was in Delhi. I was a carefree guy and enjoyed my life. I never really used to bother about anything and I took it for granted that I can make friends with anyone and everyone I wanted to. I was not influential, and neither was I too adorable. But I used to listen to friends and I did give good advice to them about anything that I could comprehend. Sometimes it used to work and sometimes it didn't.

This is a small story which could happen to anyone.

It was start of winter, and was unusually cold for an October Evening. After being buried for a whole day in books I was up for rewarding myself with a cheesy burger at MacD, as we would call Mac Donald’s. So I called for few friends, no one wanted to company me.

I couldn't help but wonder why. Anyways, I left hostel and was half the way when one of my friends Aman came to me panting,.

He said- You going to MacD?

Yes, I said.

Why didn't you ask me? He questioned.

It was then i realized I didn't see him at the hostel. And i told him the same.

Well anyways I am here now, let’s go.

And we got glued together and walked the rest of the way silently.

It took about 15 mins to reach and I was already hungry.

I asked Aman what he wanted.

Most of the times we had a fixed menu, It was a veggie combo. That would be sufficient. And if we were still not satisfied we would grab a mixed juice on our way back.

I told him to go upstairs and grab a seat.

The place was unusually deserted for 7 pm.

There were only 5 people in the queue.

I was standing hoping it to clear fast, and then suddenly i wished it to never end. As I was standing in the line the girl in front of me turned. It was one of the most beautiful faces I had come across. There was freshness in her face, sparkle in her eyes, her pearly white teeth, and pink lips. Her dark brown hair were waving and then she turned again. I couldn't resist but starring at her. Her dark black eyes. I was wordless and I spoke to my inner self, Wow!

I had totally lost my objective of standing in the queue and I had forgotten why I was there. Sooner all the 4 people in front of her had gone, and she placed her order.

She was standing on my side when I reached the counter, I placed my order and I turned to her. I felt she was noticing me all this time and she looked at me strangely.

Now I lost control of myself.

I didn't even realize what I was doing.

I just raised my hand and said, Hi.

Her strange look all of sudden turned into furious look, Her calm eyes suddenly turned into one filled with hot magma. And I noticed her face going red.

I felt a shiver within myself. I decided it’s time for me to escape. I literally ran upstairs to my friend Aman. While I was on my escape I saw 2-3 more girls approaching her.

What happened?

She said- Nothing.

I reached my friend Aman and told him to collect our meal. He asked me why so?

I convinced him I will tell him later.

As he got our meal I saw the group of girls coming upstairs. I started sweating in an air-cooled restaurant.

They came and sat on table just next to us, and that pretty girl was facing me. I didn't know what to do. So I just turned 180 degrees. Aman got the air that it had to do something with the girls group.

While we returned he didn't ask me anything. In fact he never asked me what happened.

After some 15 days on a Sunday evening, I was alone and hungry, there was no food in hostel mess on Sunday and almost everyone had went out already to have food. So I was alone and decided to go to a restaurant near by which was not very heavy on pocket and food was good.

As I entered inside I saw a face which I felt I have seen somewhere else. Within a moment I remembered that it was the same girl I had seen at MacD, she would have looked towards me for a micro second, at that instant I turned around and kept walking, I didn't look back and I certainly didn't go to the restaurant again that night, or anytime later.

I never had thought that I will be seeing that girl again in my life. How often do we come across the same person at random twice or more? I think maybe we do come across random people more often, we just don't remember them that way. 

I did not go out for about 2 months after that incidence. And later then one day I went to an ice cream parlour. It was about 8.30 pm and a chilled evening. There is a thrill in having ice cream on a cold winter night. So I was there sitting outside the parlour and enjoying my scoop of dark chocolate. I would have not believed in ghosts if I had not seen what I saw next.

There was a narrow dark alley that leads to a deserted area behind the shopping complex, it used to be our usual route to go and come back from the hostel because it saved our time by about 15 to 20 mins.

I saw a thin slender body dressed up in white walking towards me through that alley, and behind that was someone dressed up in black. I held myself together and froze on the bench. And as that body approached me near I prayed, Oh! God not again.

It was the same girl whom I had saw at the Mac D and then at the Restaurant.

That day I could not stop myself from telling my friends about her. Was she really a ghost I had offended and she is following me?

My friends laughed at me like crazy after hearing my story.

They asked me to show them who it was next time I ever saw her.

10 days later I saw the same girl at a juice shop where we regularly used to visit. Is it really happening to me?

Fortunately 2 of my friends were with me that day and I showed them who it was.

And then I became a subject of laughter.

Apparently she was one of the students who were studying at the institute where I was.

And I never understood the reason why I never saw her at institute and I was bumping into her everywhere else.

Later on life became busy and we all got into tough times for exams and there after I didn't remember about the incidence what had happened with me.

I moved to Bangalore leaving most of the people I knew behind and I was not much in contact with them.

After 2 years of my life at Bangalore and after I made few friends one day we planned to go to for dinner outside and majority of the people wanted to go for pizza.

We were playing truth and dare and I chose to dare. No a wise option. I was asked to go and propose a girl who was sitting on the table just opposite to us on the other end of the hall.

She was with few other friends, all girls. As I approached the table my guts told me, you'll get beaten badly today.

I reached her and without thinking twice I said.

If you believe in love at first sight, I could not give a better example right now in telling you what I am feeling for you.

And you may accept or not, but I guess I have just fallen in love with you. And I love you.

I was sweating badly. Drops of perspiration forming on my forehead.

As i turned back without having her answer I heard a voice, Hey. I felt an urge to run.

But suppressing my fear I turned around.

Same face, same eyes, same lips, I knew her from somewhere.

Shit, it was the same girl, two and a half years back.

She froze as she also recognized me.

To break the awkward silence, In an unconditioned move, an involuntary reflex, my hands raised, and came out of my mouth, Hi!

She smiled.

And I asked, what’s your name?

Its Sandhya, and she smiled again..


It was a smile I could never forget. A smile one in a millions. It was a smile I still smile to. And she still smiles to me in my dreams. It was a smile just a smile, and still it was perfect moment. 

Love Isn't Real

Autumn is a season that can get even the most cheerful person a bit glum. The sky would be clear blue like a blank canvas, sun would be raging it’s heat, people would abandon the streets, birds won’t leave their nests and animals won’t come out of their burrows.
But it was nothing new for Allor. Sitting on a bench amid a garden in autumn is like sailing a dingy through an ocean of dried leaves. Every time someone walks over them he could hear even the finest of sound made by crumbling leaves. As a child he would enjoy jumping on them, but it didn’t entertain him anymore.
He looked at the pile of raked leaves which was not there yesterday. It’ll all be burnt, leaving ash and smoke.
Life was stagnant for him at autumn. It was like a station from where no train would go anywhere, a station which has solely been built just to signal trains to pass by. And he won’t complain about it anymore to anyone.
Life was not the same for him 5 years back. He used to be jovial and lively. Just in 5 years he now appeared to have grown ages. His hair unkempt, his face like a mask and he rarely would smile.
He was lost in thoughts until his phone vibrated springing him back from flashback to the present.


Yes, He answered.
You want it today? Asked the voice.
Yes, he answered again.
What time? The voice asked.
The usual. He replied.
Alright. Said the voice.
How much? Allor asked.
We’ll decide. The voice said and hung up, and Allor went back to his flash back.


Life and luck mostly had him biased or the people around him. He obtained most of the things no one else could at an age no one else had, at least those who were around him.
He had been envied by almost everyone, His siblings, his friends, colleagues, everyone. And he had never been snobbish about his achievements. He lived a modest and simple life.
A giggle intruded his silent world and he saw a teenage couple passing by holding hands, throwing him back to his days when he won his first kiss. He was barely 14. It was none other than Aliza, the class allure. Even at 14 she was like a Greek Goddess, her dark brown hair had a perfect match with her golden skin. She was the only girl to have hazel eyes in the whole school. She was looked upon as an angel just less of wings which her heart had. Her heart would never settle on a thing except for Allor and he never understood why.
Watching them holding hands and walking around the school campus made acid regurgitate to mouth of every guy. They all wanted to be in his place but they were just not lucky enough.
He was just 16 when they made love, which was nothing but experimentation and curiosity. Aliza didn’t let him down. She was Bold & Beautiful. By 22 he had all his fantasies come true with Aliza and he had enough in his plate to marry her. At age of 23 he was married to his 10 year girlfriend, had a respectable job and everything else to make one believe life was so perfect for them.


His phone vibrated again.
It’s done, the voice said.
Alright. Allor answered and hung up.


He had been sitting on this bench for more than 3 hours now. He had a few drops of sweat running down his temple. It was time to move, he felt and walked towards the lake which was half a km away. He had to return to his apartment by 8 pm and it was about 6 pm now. He had one more hour to kill.
He took a round of the lake feeding himself cool breeze to calm his unrest mind. After having enough of it, he turned on his way back. He saw a kid coming towards him holding hands of her mother. He froze a moment and felt a chill running down his spine. They appeared to him like it was his own Aliza and their daughter Aurora. Although he realized it was not possible as, Aliza and Aurora are not in the city, not even the country maybe. They approached near and the lady was giving him looks for his stare.


Oh! Excuse me, Allor uttered.
She is such a beautiful girl- He said and walked away.
The woman was perplexed and her eyes followed him and Allor didn’t turn back.


He reached his car. Some dust had settled over it parked there for a while and some air could do justice to it. He revved the engine and took it to 80 mph and later lowering it down to 40.
How would Aurora like now? He imagined her playing around and running down the field. It’s been 5 years since he saw her last time.
He still remembered the first time he ever saw her. She was the most beautiful girl he ever saw. He had tears running down his eyes when he took Aurora into his arms. He told Aliza, I’m the happiest Dad in this world. It was a moment he felt God blessed him with everything he wanted.
And life taught him a hard lesson. One has to pay for everything one wants. Every smile, every moment one spends in happiness everything one has gained.
His love for Aliza grew more after having Aurora in his arms. He’ll never be late from his office. Oblige to every of their wishes. Everything he did for them made him happy too.
But it was not the same for Aliza. Though she was comfortable with whatever she got from Allor. At times she was more like testing him. She’ll put one wish after the other and Allor would gladly fulfill them. She would be irritated most of the times not because he would fail but because he’ll never miss. It was just too perfect, more than perfect for her.
It was around the time Aurora was to be 5.


One day out of nowhere Aliza asked Allor- If I want something huge from you would you give it to me?
Allor without even a thought replied- Of course honey, tell me what’s in your mind?
You need to promise me said Aliza.
I promise, added Allor.
I need a divorce, said Aliza.


Allor’s world came crashing down. He couldn’t believe what he was listening to. He stood there in shock like he has been stuck with a thunderbolt. His pupils dilated. His mouth open.


But.. But why? He begged.
Aliza knew it would break him. But she wanted to get over with it as soon as possible.
She replied to him- Allor, this is just to perfect, just to perfect for me. I forced myself to believe that all this is real. But how could it be. I had patience for some time, but I can’t keep it anymore. And I can no longer believe that it’s for real. Not any longer.


Allor was baffled. He didn’t understand even a word of it. He wouldn’t even remember when was he sad last time. And right now it was more than heartache.


He asked- what’s not real? What’s not true?
Aliza said- You, your love for me, and your love for Aurora. It’s just too perfect to be real.
I don’t get it- Allor said.


You promised me you’ll give what I wanted- said Aliza. And if you don’t respect it, I can’t be happy with you anymore. It’s upon you to decide now Allor, if you want me to be happy, let me go.
Allor now was hopeless. He was wretched. He went to Aurora’s room, she was sleeping. He looked at her innocent face. How much he loved her, he can’t even translate in words. He took the keys to his cars & left. He didn’t return that night. He called up to his office in morning after spending night in his car & put a leave. He wandered whole day aimlessly. His only objective of his life had been snatched from him.
He made a decision and called Aliza.


He said- Alright you win. But I want Aurora to stay with me. You can’t take her away from me.
Aliza refused. No you can’t. She goes with me.


Allor knew it won’t come easy to him. He fought for Aurora for 6 months in court.
But it was Aliza to win. Everyone favored custody of female child to mother. And Aurora had to leave.
He halted his car at a red signal, symbolizing it with his happy life. He wasn’t far from his flat now. On the way he stopped at a hyper market purchasing 2 bottles of wine, a bottle of scotch some groceries and a few more things.
He reached his apartment by 7.45 pm and set dinner ready.
At 8.15 pm his doorbell rang. He had expected it.
He opened the door and there stood a girl aged 23-25 wearing heavy makeup to make her look older. She had her hair pulled back, thick mascara on her eyes, and crimson red lipstick.
She was wearing a long silk overcoat with upper 2 buttons undone.
He knew beneath it is just skin, and within him love was not real anymore.


His phone rang for last time..
He answered - How much?
The voice said- 10 k for you.

The Last Time

The Last Time.

There are so many last times that we face in our lives, some worth remembering, some worth forgetting. And then there are some incidences that we can never forget even if we want to.

Something like that happened to me in summer of year 2009. It was the month of April. The only advantage of being in Bangalore is seasons are never at extremes. The only thing at extreme is pollution. It was a day with clear blue sky. I wanted it to rain. And rain heavily. Very rarely I would break down to tears and this was one such occasion, I wanted to lock myself up and cry like a baby. I felt like my most precious was being taken away from me.

I was standing there on railway platform, never been this lonely, never been this helpless. I had a million words to say and none would come out of my mouth. A whole tsunami of emotions was raging inside me, and I could break anytime. She sensed what was going inside me. And she gave me a faint smile.

I was not sure what that smile meant?

And how could I!

All of a sudden 5 years appeared to be such a short time to get to know each other. It felt like I wanted to live more out of them. My mind raced through all those moments that I might have missed in these years not being with her.

All these thoughts might have not taken more than a microsecond. All of a sudden my mind was working with stupendous speed. It was like I would blow up something.

I looked back at her and that faint smile persisted, this time it was just a bit more stretched. I’d never observed her so keenly. Her thin lips with a hint of lip gloss. I wouldn’t know why they appeared to be so pink today. Then I shifted my attention to her cheeks with a few scar marks of old pimples, still appearing so perfect to me. All of a sudden I felt like squeezing all of her into me and extract what ever I can out of her.

Was I afraid of loosing her? Or was I growing desperate?

I was wandering in my random thoughts when she called me.

I looked back and saw the smile again and back to my thoughts, it was like having hallucinations one after the other. But this time before I could get inundate into it, she came close to me and asked what are you thinking of?

I couldn’t help but say, I don’t know, a lot of things maybe, it was just last year about the same time that we were on train talking if it could be our last journey. But I hoped that it wont be and now I look back to it, everything is so painful, and I am not even sure if I am hurt.

Hurt or not, I knew I don’t want her to go. And I can’t stop her.

She smiled, and I couldn’t help but ask, is this the last time I am seeing you smile or hear your voice? I don’t know Soni I don’t want you to go.

This time she broke into laughter. Was I making fool of myself?

How could I know? Then came the computerized announcement of the train being half an hour late. I sighed. I hoped I could extract every single second now and just kept starring at her face. I wanted to take that clock out of the platform and break it into million pieces. I never hated a clock much more than this moment.

She suddenly held my hand and I was shocked for all this years I have known her, she was not the kind of person who would make a physical contact, even if its for shaking hand.

I remember once when she was in a bit depression and wanted to talk. It was about 7 in the evening and getting dark, we were sitting at a garden. She was talking, talking and talking and all of a sudden broke into tears. Although it was she who was crying but it was me who was feeling to be vulnerable. I sat there, silently holding her tight and tears rolling down my face.

And now I am here, she holding my hand and I was about to break down.

She said, stupid, it will be ok.

We’ll be in contact.

I would never believe a girl if she ever said to me that we will be in contact, it literally meant that I am going forever.

There were lot of times when we would go for having ice-creams, and coffee, she would never be scared, or uncomfortable with me even if she was alone. And I would never try to take any advantage of hers.

She said lets go for a walk.

I just nodded my head.

I remembered the few times when we went to the a lake, and took rounds after the other, and when she’ll feel tired we would sit on the grass and talk everything that would be unimportant to anyone. And I liked talking with her.

She would never hear my philosophies but she would listen to all the paltry I had to blab. I would be soft and slow when she’ll be around. And we reached the end of platform. Stood there for about 5 seconds, felt like that’s it. That’s how our relation is going to be.

For the first time she seemed a bit low for the last 2 hours of me being with her at the station.

She said, let’s just turn around.

Can we?

I mean here, we can’t turn the time.

Humm, I wish I could.

We turned.

And then it was the other end.

Life was exactly the same for a moment, there is an entrance and there can be more than one end.

Not everyone gets the end that we look for.

At times we won’t want an end.

I noticed she was still holding my hand.

Was I this numb? Why am I?

We were back to the point where we put her luggage.

She sat down, and it was not because she was tired. It was cause she was growing weak.

I felt it was not a good idea coming to drop her.

It was more like an emotional trauma.

I just stood close to her and was mum. How can I explain to her what I was feeling?

Should I try that?

What is she feeling? Is she feeling the same that I am ? How could have I known. And didn’t have guts to ask her either.

The thin film of tear in my eyes was growing thicker. Everything started growing blur. I tried too hard to control it, but failed miserably. I blinked and a tear dropped from my eye on to her hand.

Guess she noticed. She looked towards me, was it sympathy, was it pity or it was love?

Love is an interesting word.

I never thought if what I was feeling for her was love.

And if it is then why is it there. Or was it just an overt, unwieldy expression of angst of loosing her. What ever it was I wanted to get over with it soon.

If I had to loose her it better be fast.

And then there was an announcement of the train to be arriving soon.

I turned towards her, and she looked deep in my eyes. There were no words but we did express that it’s about time.

I spoke up, Soni you know; I always wondered how will it end.

Hey it’s not the end, she quipped.

Humm.. I mean how would we leave this city, and somehow I knew it won't be easy. Not because I liked being here, it’s because of you.

I didn’t know I was so special to you, she added.

You didn’t? I was surprised. All through the 5 years whatever effort I’d put suddenly appeared to be waste. There is little that I could have not done to make her feel special. I had started to pack my gifts myself for her, make my own bouquet for her, those in-numerous thorn pricks I obtained. Everything.

Was she faking?

I just nodded my head.

Hey, you are special friend to me all the time. So don’t feel low. We enjoyed our time together, what else can I ask more.

More time, I said to myself.

What did special mean? Does the word Special has any definition?

I could see her train approach from far corner of the platform, blowing its horn, may be it was telling me that your time is over. I felt like a lonely albatross sitting on a iceberg and a ship pass by me, wailing its horn telling me to fly by.

I stood and lifted her bag, I heard no sound no more, felt no weight of anything but myself, and it was growing heavy.

I put her luggage at the supposed place, pretending everything to be normal.

I got down and was standing outside the window of the seat.

The train would leave in a minute or so.

I said, you know I want to tell you something.

Yea, say.

I was out of words again.

I’ll miss you a lot more than I thought, I said. All I wanted to tell her that I loved her. But I couldn’t do it.

Don’t lie. She replied.

Why would I lie? I would lie about anything else but why this?

Her train started to move. So did I. I kept walking till I could and her train caught speed soon. I waved and kept waving, and wished her all the best for future, so did she.

It was the last moment I had with her, I screamed, Soni, I love you. But it got muffled because of the noise of train and people talking loudly to their loved ones.

I thought I could call her and tell. I took out my phone and dialed her number.

It was the most disappointing moment in my life, what I heard was, the number you’ve dialed is temporary out of service.

I met her so regularly that I didn't even remember when I talked with her last on phone.

I stood there for a minute. Until the train had disappeared and people left the platform deserted.

I felt that entire vacuum developing inside me. Just a person less in life could leave such a huge void.

And i left the station.

6 months passed since then. I didn't hear from her. Neither did i get any message, Nor did i hear anything about her from any other person.

It was the last time, I saw her smile and she held my hand. It was the last time when I said I love you to someone. And may be the last time I fell in love, even if it was for a moment.

ZAP and Lisa

ZAP and Lisa..

This story is about three guys who were good friends from time unknown. And then things between them got sore cause of a Girl. So what’s difference? Well I would just say, get over it, it’s just a story!

So there were 3 guys called Zeith, Awesome, and Polly. Well yea, Polly is name of a Guy.

The story started when Zeith met Polly at his college where he had joined for his MBA.

Zeith was in Delhi for years, I should say for 4 years, doing his graduation from the university, It was a 3 year course, but extracurricular activities held him there for one more year, and he finally pulled himself out in 4th year to pass with respectable score. He was known in his college among girls for being charming, and handsome. I would not say that he was as handsome as Greek Gods!! And neither had he had an eight pack body. But that’s not where the secret lies. Girls appreciate a lot more in guys than just a body. And Zeith knew it well. Girls being an emotional creature look more for support on the emotional side than physical, and any girl would fall for a guy who really explores this basic trait of girls.

But there are exceptions to the rule, and sometimes there are more exceptions than those who follow the rule. That was what exactly happened with Zeith when he was in love with Sonia. Sonia was the first girl in Zeith’s life. He loved her like nobody else. And one fine day Sonia broke up with him for a guy a bit better looking than Zeith but a lot more to show than him. Sonia later regretted a lot when she saw her semi clad pictures being circulated in the college!

Zeith was not always like he became. He learnt a lot from the fast life in speed lanes of Delhi. He leant to move on faster after heart break. He learnt money matters a lot when it comes to love, and he learnt you can break up for anything, for guys from not shaving to caring a lot for the girl, for girls from being fully clad to wearing a revealing dress. Anything and everything can be reason for a break up.

For Zeith it was not about having an 8 pack body and not enough biceps to show. Zeith never gave up. And he moved on and became a well known guy in demand when he showed the real talent of how and where to apply the information, and that’s when a guy from medium class family turned into a sweetheart flirt!

Polly as Zeith never knew was in Delhi too, the whole time Zeith was there. He was from a small town in MP and most of the people had not even heard about it, when it came to explaining his origin. He had come to Delhi 4 years back for preparing for CBSE PMT exam and after struggling for a year it was sheer bad luck that he couldn't make it. All I knew was that he deserved but still didn't make it seeing the dedication he worked with! Luck had it all. He was a very simple guy kept to himself. Worked for what he dreamt of and amazingly he kept himself away from Girls though he had the opportunity. So when he got to know that he didn’t make it to the exam he was devastated. He locked up himself in his room for 2 days without food and cried day and night. He knew he can't go back to his home a looser.

So he joined a biotech course, the best that he can have thought of at the university and passed it with good scores. And the next thing he could think of was MBA. And he went ahead to pursue his dreams to Bangalore.

Awesome as the name says was always awesome. He was driven by himself, never cared about anything else! He was a Handsome and Sweet guy who knew how to make friends, was good with girls and never had a problem he couldn't get out of. He did his BE, having a jolly time, never missing any opportunity to enjoy life. He was a guy girls couldn't resist. But he was never serious about any one of them. His only motto was to live life and never miss fun out of it. And the common thing about him, Zeith and Polly was he too came to Bangalore from Jaipur to do his MBA, and as luck had it, it was the same college as Zeith and Polly. And I would say that, as there were lot of things common about Zeith and Awesome, one thing being girls, they eventually had to meet sometime.

So it was first day at college where these 3 guys met, but they didn't talk. Cause they didn't have to. All of them met officially for the first time while giving intro to seniors. And Zeith couldn't believe himself that he never met Polly, while he was studying in the same college as him at the university at Delhi. But then he didn't meet a lot more guys. To Zeith Polly was like ancient him. So he instantly liked the guy. He never interfered in what others had to do and never dug into their personal life. He made for a good choice for room-mate.

About Awesome, He liked Polly because he was always to the point and no non-sense guy. He was always true, and most important, He wanted someone to help him with notes and studies. So was with Zeith, he too didn't want this time to be hanging in the college for more than needed..! And this is how Zeith met Awesome, after a month the college started. Zeith liked Awesome, they were more like mirror images of one another.

During the whole time of college for Zeith, Awesome was a good company for party, be it Pub, Disc or New Year’s Eve. Awesome would pick the place. And Zeith liked his taste. They both were considerate about needs of Polly and never forced him for anything, more over they at times supported him for staying clean, and that’s when they would go for late night ice-cream or coffee, and sometimes break away from parties and go to fun parks like Wonder La or Fun city. Though it felt kiddish to them, but on the other side they had fun because even such places would be filled with girls on weekends. Wet clothes hugging their body and seeing them scream like crazy was fun for them!

Polly would also accompany Zeith and Awesome to some parties but never had drinks. And it was good for Both Awesome and Zeith cause they had someone dependable who could drive them back to hostel safely after a wild night! It was on one such trip to a Pub that shocked both Zeith and Awesome.

Years flew by and Zeith, Awesome and Polly passed their MBA and got placed in the same company dealing with Banking and Finance. Life was easy and the three of them. Known in college as ZAP they stayed roommates.

It was in summer of 2009 was a 3 day weekend and all three of them decided it be good for a pub visit. Awesome got to choose which he liked to do, be it on him or not. And they walked in at about 9 at night. Awesome and Zeith got busy. There they were trying to hit on girls and Polly was sitting having his cranberry juice, a girl walked to him, modestly dressed a little bit of makeup, she wasn't drunk yet. She asked if he would like to dance with her.

Polly was shocked and his cold feet never rose. He had to decline, and the girl felt offended. Seeing that he tried to explain it to her and she gave it a chance. In the course of time when he lived with Awesome and Zeith, Polly did improve on personal skills and now did have more friends than he could imagine.

So this girl sat at the table and listened to him. Polly though plain was interesting guy and full of knowledge. Now this girl was in a discussion with him and couldn't escape. Polly won over her in the time she couldn't imagine. And she was so impressed by him that she gave him her phone number and asked if they ever come again to the bar, he should call her. Awesome and Zeith were standing in shock and watched all this happen. All the alcohol that went down their throat had got washed out of their head. As she was about to leave Polly introduced her to his friends Awesome and Zeith. And then he wished her goodnight.

It was for more than a month that they didn’t go to bar, and then finally Zeith one day developed nervous feet. Polly had completely forgotten about the girl, he didn't even ask the name off. But Awesome remembered. He knew there was something different about that girl and she was not like those easy lay. So he just asked Polly casually if he is going to call her or not. Polly said why would he? Because they anyway would find someone over there and he was not interested getting into anything with a girl right now. So Awesome said that maybe he should call her then and Polly gave him the number. She picked up the phone and it took some time for her to recall may be there was a little alcohol effect on her but then she remembered Polly. She said that she could not understand why he won’t call her. And that was the time when Awesome handed over the phone to Polly and Polly did invite her.

This time it was different. Polly and Lisa both were sitting and having Cranberry juice at the bar. Lisa at the second meeting told Polly a bit more details about her. She was from Pune and that was the place from where she did her Degree of Management from a reputed college. After which she moved to Bangalore for job and was here since 2 years, she was an year elder to Polly but she didn’t mind that. She would get frustrated at times because of her Boss and at weekends would break in to any pub with few girlfriends and relax.

She took interest in knowing the fact that how Polly managed living with Awesome and Zeith cause they were so different. Not just the personality but including the interests. It was about that time that Polly told her the 3 years of MBA life and how Zeith and Awesome helped him out Financially and Personally, and how he improved, How they screwed their interview one after the other until Polly got into one company and then broke their back for getting into the same company.

Though different on several planes he liked them both and was thankful to have found such friends. So as the night was at its peak Lisa asked him again if Polly wanted to dance with her and this time they did hit the Dance floor though not for long and Lisa did get to know why. Polly really didn’t know how to dance.

She was not ashamed and offered if Polly would like to join her for dance class. Lisa loved to learn new things and had joined Salsa classes 6 months back. She told Polly that she will accept to be his partner if he was not comfortable with anyone else. Though it will take her back 6 months in the course but it was worth the effort for Polly.

One thing that I will never understand about life is that you never know when will you start liking someone. And all such moments come when least expected. It was such a moment that Polly liked Lisa, and over the course of time he will fall in love with her!

The offer for the dance class was just the beginning and Lisa became the 4^th guy in the group. She would dress Tom Boyish and would hang around with the three guys most of the times. Having a Girl in the group did come as advantage to Awesome and Zeith as they would now have access to the restricted areas and she would give them hints on girls to be hit on to.

She would also join them for their highway trips, to the late night ice-cream, at times for coffee and the fun park trips. She had good sense of humor and it would not bore anyone of them. Sometimes she will get her friends to come along with for a few of the trips and more girls was more fun for Zeith and Awesome.

Zeith never changed, and He was the one Lisa liked the least in the group, though funny and easy going guy, but Lisa never liked that he never cared about anyone else’s feelings. He was just to himself.

But as the time passed Awesome and Lisa did use to get along well. Now Awesome would flirt less at the clubs. He would pay more attention to her; at times he would just sit with Polly and Lisa and share Cranberry juice. Lisa started to like Awesome as she got to know more and more about him. Though he wouldn’t show but Awesome had a sensitive side, he was emotional, sympathetic and cared how others feel. And Lisa knew that he was longing for love.

Few months passed and it was about time when things started getting a little complicated. Polly was in love with Lisa, and Awesome and Lisa were in love with each other. Sometimes Awesome and Lisa would go out on a date and Polly and Zeith would not know of it.

Finally it was on his Birthday treat that Awesome proposed Lisa. Knowing all about his past and a lot about his personal life, Lisa still agreed. Guess Awesome would have been the happiest man on earth that day. And on the other side Polly had his first heartbreak. Zeith was busy hitting on chicks like ever, so he didn’t pay attention to what just happened. Lisa and Awesome were sharing dinner near pool side table and heartbroken Polly was getting drunk, Guess the pain might have been too much for him. He left early from the place, went home, puked some 3-4 times and his loneliness made him to feel that no one cares about him anymore.

He was not jealous ever of Lisa being with Awesome, because they would still go out together, Lisa still was his partner at the Salsa classes and she still appreciated Polly for being the most responsible guy. But Polly knew he was slowly changing; now he would easily get irritated, at times he would drink, and he would hit on girls with Zeith.

No one noticed what happened to Polly. They all took it as a long awaited change.

Later on after sometime Lisa once went on vacation to her home which she was missing. And the Guys again got to get their night out without a girl. Polly was a bit more comfortable and was back to his cranberry juice. He would rather see the other 2 guys play the game.

Tonight was different, Zeith introduced Awesome to a hot girl whose name was Sana. Sana had been out with Zeith few times and she meant business. And it was after long times that they were really so free that drinks were going beyond limits. Late night Zeith went along with someone new and never got to know who and Awesome went out with Sana. The only thing Awesome didn’t do right was he slept with Sana and Sana was an associate working at the Office where Lisa did.

No one ever found it out not even Zeith and one day Lisa had called Sana along with some other friends to a visit to fun park, that’s were Awesome realized what he has got himself into. Though he found a moment where he almost convinced Sana not to tell Lisa about what had happened between them, to which Sana agreed. But Sana felt a moral responsibility towards Lisa and about a week or two later she confided in her about the incident.

Lisa tried to keep her cool for long, but she was really hurt and asked Polly if they can meet in person. Polly didn’t realize what the problem was. But when he reached her flat and saw her sobbing he got the idea that he won’t be able to solve the matter not on his own. Before he could even think of calling Awesome, Lisa said, don’t call that Bastard! And now Polly was completely dazed.

All Lisa could do was hug Polly and she cried for about an hour, and all Polly could do was feel her intense pain with tears flowing down his face which Lisa didn’t realize. When she felt a little better, she told Polly of what had happened and Polly was shocked. He didn’t believe that Awesome can do it. Why will he break her heart, but at the same time he knew that Lisa won’t lie not in the state he is seeing her. It felt like she has grown old overnight, there was no shine on her face and though she tried hard to smile, she still couldn’t get it right.

Polly was outraged. After he made sure that Lisa was fine, he went back to his flat and called Zeith and Awesome. Awesome knew it will happen someday, and Zeith didn’t care about it as it was not his matter to solve. Polly went on swearing at Awesome, and he was ashamed of what he did. Awesome felt that he had nothing in his favor.

Polly was getting on Zeith’s nerves and finally he spoke, what crime had Awesome done? He just slept with someone else that doesn’t mean that his love for Lisa has grown less. Things happen and take it light, why are you making such big fuss of it. And anyways it wouldn’t have happened if Sana was not working at the same office as Lisa, and they could have never known as she never mentioned. But it was not Zeith who saw Lisa cry, it was not Zeith who felt her pain, but it was Zeith who had introduced that girl to Awesome. After hearing Zeith say all that Awesome looked a bit comforted. And Polly felt that he won’t be sorry for what he has done.

Polly just left from there still he could not find a way to settle his rage. He knew he can’t just sit quiet about it and he can’t stay calm. At times when rage controls one’s mind one doesn’t know what’s right and wrong. Had he stayed calm for sometime things might have been different. Neither did Awesome or Zeith tried to calm him down. They believed that they have solved the matter and only hurdle was Lisa which Awesome believed can be won over easily.

Awesome might have made a mistake for his fling with Sana, but is love for Lisa was true. And now it will be very difficult for him to prove it to Lisa. So he thought that let some time pass. And time is a great healer. Even if it doesn't heal the wounds, it atleast covers the wound with enough sand and dust that people eventually forget about it, or they learn living with them.

On the the other hand it was Polly who felt betrayed by his dear friends. He grew bitter on the inside. Now he wont go out with them. He would loose his cool very easily, and would be abusive for no reason.

Finally it happened what was waiting for long. It was the day when Zeith returned from a club with some random girl to which Polly disapproved. Zeith was drunk and pushed away Polly. He yelled at him that it was his life and he will do what he wants to. And he better keep of from his life. Awesome was not yet back, and the girl already escaped watching the guys argue about her being there.

It only helped Polly go mad about the incidences happening between them. Polly went to a black market where he bought a pack of cartridge for the vintage shotgun they had bought for decoration at their flat. Polly felt he might be over reacting but he could not find any other way to settle it down.

He went back to his flat at night, Awesome was sleeping in his room. Polly took out the gun from showcase, loaded it with the shots. He opened door to Zeith's room, and didn’t think twice before shooting Zeith. The sound of shot waked up Awesome and it didn’t take him long time to make out what just happened! He screamed at Polly, What the hell do you think you are doing! And Polly screamed back at him, It’s all because of you bastard. And Zeith lay there soaked in his own blood dying, but had a smile on his face. His last words were, Polly you did it right!

And next was Awesome. Before he could have tried to escape Polly took a shot at him and then one more. It didn’t take much time for Awesome to collapse. He said to Polly, I am sorry man. Tell Lisa I really loved her, and I am so sorry to have broke her heart.

Polly stayed there for some time. Now he didn’t know what to do. He was in dark, more on the inside than out. And what ever he does now, he cant change what he already did. He took the car and went to Lisa. He told her what all happened and that he has killed Zeith and Awesome. Lisa was shocked more than ever; she thrashed Polly, screaming do you know what you’ve done? Are you insane?

Polly couldn’t hold it any longer, he was frustrated enough and he told Lisa how much he loved her and he could never express it to her, Lisa really couldn’t believe what was happening. But she gathered some courage and tried to sooth him. She was making some sense now.

She started speaking, Polly, we’ve been good friends all this while and you’ve done a lot for me than anyone else can do. I’ve always respected you and love is something that you can’t force on me, and right now you are in bigger problem. You need to understand that I can’t love you, and you need to go now and protect yourself. Just go from here Polly, I will always be your friend. She kissed him on his cheek and closed the door.

Polly was in tears when he was climbing down the stairs of her flat. And now he was more confused than ever. He felt he has lost everything, and while driving back to his flat he went through flash back of so many memories that his head seemed to explode. He remembered the old good days he had with the guys before he met Lisa. He started to feel that all what happened was his mistake and not of Awesome or Zeith or anyone else. Now he was really getting insane! With nothing around him making sense.

What have I done! Oh God, what have I done!

He reached his flat, nothing had happened till now. He saw bodies of Awesome and Zeith and blood all around him, rage was coming back to him. He sat there crying, howling why the hell did he do it!

His eyes reached the gun which he had threw before going to Lisa. He took it and ran down the stair. Got into his car and raced it back towards Lisa’s place. He almost broke into her house only to find Lisa packing her stuff. She could barely scream before he shot 2 rounds and Lisa almost instantaneously fell to the ground, she was in pain and was losing her consciousness. And then Polly shot himself in the chest and fell close to Lisa, facing her, she was as beautiful as ever. Polly tried to get close to her and she resisted.

Polly said his last words to her, I am sorry Lisa, I am really sorry.

It was not long when both of them succumbed. They died along each other’s side, though it was a moment when they didn’t have love for each other. They didn’t even share friendship. They were just acquaintances like they were at the beginning.

Everyone lost what they had, trust, love, friendship, but it was only Zeith who was happy in the end. It was Awesome who lost the most. And I am not sure what did Lisa loose.

And all the while I was asking myself why it had to happen to Polly! He was the guy whom I compared the most with myself. But it was the most plausible end. I couldn’t think of anything else. And only could pray for their soul to rest in peace.